SILENCE = DEATH

DOCUMENTARY PROPOSAL

Title 

FROM THE ASHES RISEN

Synopsis

The project consists of a feature length documentary film that centers on the stories and inner lives of eight to ten Gay men over the age of 55, all of whom are HIV+ or have AIDS, and caretakers, nurses, and medical staff who took care of them. 

Goals

• Contribution to a growing national oral history archive, including 20 to 30 taped interviews of older (55+) Gay and bisexual men living with HIV/AIDS. 

• Feature length film focusing on a smaller group (8 – 10) of these men,documenting these stories of the 80s/90s AIDS epidemic, their lives currently, and aging as HIV + or AIDS-diagnosed men residing in Chicago.

• Emphasized importance and interviews with caretakers, nurses and hospital staff that worked in the hospital AIDS units during the 80s/90s epidemic and focusing on three of these lives. 

Project Treatment

Few projects have been created to document the lives of LGBTQ aging communities, much less focus on older Gay and bisexual men’s lives who survived the 80s/90s AIDS epidemic. The “Act Up Oral History Project” in New York City recently began to collect the narratives of surviving members of the AIDS activist and education collective Act Up, while small, disconnected archives of individual histories exist within city’s LGBTQ community center’s archives across the country. Still, a feature length documentary has yet to be created that explores the impact of aging, surviving a community holocaust, and generational disconnects around the experiences of living with HIV & AIDS.  Similar to Steven Spielberg’s renowned “Shoah Project”, which filmed and collected the oral histories of survivors from the Holocaust, we propose a project that will do just this around elder Gay and bisexual men: to lay the groundwork for a growing archive of elder LGBTQ history. 

Initially using Chicago’s LGBTQ community center, health agencies, and specific social circles of aging Gay and bisexual men as  resources to gather interest from 20 – 30 men who would like to be interviewed about their experiences aging and living as HIV+ or with AIDS, we will conduct 3-4 hour interviews with individual men that will be housed as part of an oral history archive at Chicago' s Center On Halsted, the LGBTQ community center. These men have powerful stories to tell of loss and grief, oppression and stigma, but also victory and a powerful triumph of Spirit.  They will all come from the Chicago area.  Past documentaries regarding Gay and bisexual men have been bi-coastal, focusing on the communities in New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.  No one has looked at the lives of Gay and bisexual men with HIV/AIDS in the Midwest.  Our intention is to interview in depth all these men, one on one, as well as in a group setting that will be led by Roger Goodman, M.Div. rather like a healing circle of Group Spiritual Direction.  There are still so many open wounds from the time of our tragedy in the 1980’s and 1990’s.  One of the purposes of the film is to validate the experiences of these men and provide some healing and resolution around these still open wounds.  Some of the men will be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of the holocaust of that period of LGBTQ history.  We want to develop a safe space in which the men trust us and trust each other in order to explore their innermost feelings and to tell their stories in all their vulnerability and raw humanity. 

Roger Goodman,  M.Div., a Spiritual Director in private practice trained in grief and bereavement counseling, will produce and direct the film and be the main interviewer.  

To begin the project, we would need an initial funding of $10,000.00 to begin work on the film itself.  The 7-minute trailer has already been shot on a budget of $550.00, and consists of interviews of three men and one nurse and will be shown to granting agencies in order to procure additional funding.  This small initial grant would cover the cost of equipment, travel, a website, DVD production, promotion, initial payment of the camera crew and editors, payment to the composer of the soundtrack, etc. We are looking to begin filming and interviewing for the complete production in approximately one month.  This film needs to be made while the stories are still out there; they need to be told while the men are still alive. There is much healing that needs to be done, and this film will provide that healing circle for the men whose lives and financial situations have been turned upside down by HIV/AIDS.  We are looking at approximately an 18-month time line for the making of the film, pre- and post-production time included. 

Most of the men we are interested in filming are those whose disease has decreased their earning potential and who are, therefore, living on small fixed incomes and food stamps and who are using Medicare and Medicaid for their medications and medical coverage. We are looking for Gay and bisexual men who have real stories to tell of illness, stigma, oppression, and discrimination, but also stories of victory and triumph, celebration and joy.  We are looking for stories with unmitigated spiritual power.

We are relying on individual donors, agencies, and foundations to help with the funding process and we are currently seeking donations.   

We believe the film to be important not only for the elder LGBT community, those contemporaries of the men being filmed, but for LGBTQ youth whose lives are also heavily affected by HIV/AIDS. The rate of infection among our young is outrageous and unacceptable as is the rate of infection among those over 50. Part of the reason for this rise in new infections is the loss of the history of the disease during the 1980’s and 1990’s when sickness and death were the common way of daily life. The history of the holocaust has been hidden and kept secret, not spoken about almost as if it never happened.  Indeed, as ACT UP said in the 1980’s, “silence equals death”. It is now time to break the silence and speak. It is now time to remember. It is important to shed light on that terribly dark time in the history of the Chicago LGBTQ community for both old and young alike. Simultaneously with the darkness, however, there was real Light and Grace, a community of compassion and love, which also needs to be remembered now.  It is time to speak the stories of the heroes of the AIDS War and bring light into the darkness of the secret through the stories in the film. We need the support and affirmation of our community to make this film happen.